Masochistic

I’ve been working in this image for ages (well, honestly less than a week), but a lot of things have happened in between, some of then I just cannot explain by myself. I am a masochistic person, sometimes I commit errors to get a bittersweet reward. I started this image before doing the most grotesque thing I’ve done in all my life which I will always regret, so the direction it took after that was way different than my original idea (if there was any, by the way…).
This is the way I see the world of art, pieces and artist (me). No, it’s not a summary of my style, or my images by instance, it’s my point of view about what I’m doing with my “art”. It’s a prostitution, but it’s what I want. Sometimes (most of the time…) it hurts. It really does, to have your ego ridden roughshod over… but in the end you always feel good. You create stuff for yourself but you cannot avoid to show it to others. But in my case there is no other reason that to get a comfy life thanks to that, because I cannot imagine myself working in anything else that is not related to making illustration.
But it doesn’t work. It never did and sometimes I wonder that I’ll hardly do. But I keep on trying. Most of the times, after the creation, it’s very, very disgusting to see what happens. But it’s worth it. I have fun, I discover things, I challenge myself, and I feel relieved.
But coming back to reality, I wonder what will become of me in few months, not even in years, months. Because this doesn’t work. But I’ll keeping on protituting my feelings until it does.
Meanwhile, you have a little nice summary of all of this blabbering in the new illustration I have just finished.

“Masochistic Artist” (because art is the way of prostituting oneself’s feelings)